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Posts tagged ‘death’

Sharing Creative Writing – Poetry Edition

If you read my last post, you’ll have seen I shared my first piece of writing probably since I was still in education. Well I’ve shared a short story, and now I’m doing the only thing harder: sharing my poetry. My insecurity around this is super really high so if you aren’t into poetry that is still very raw then I’m really sorry for this tangent of content. But this is important to me, as is mental health awareness and outreach, as is talking about science, and gender, and feminism. This blog might be a bit of a jack of all trades but that’s probably a good summary of who I am!

So here’s three that I had typed up from my writing book. Enjoy and please let me know what you think (if you’re gentle!)

 

Storm A’Coming

Weather alert, flooding warning
Thunder and lightning, weather storming
Sky outside bitter & grey
It must end soon. We pray
Rumble above and a flash of light
Clouds rolling faster, gods shout and fight
It darkens further, yet it’s early day
Animals restless to go out and play
I make my way slowly outside:
I dance in the storm
Cry in the rain
Lose myself
I refuse to hide.

Process

Cold blank nothing
Glaring whiteness
Cursor beating like a cursed heart
Write write write

On it blinks like a mockery
Hours wasted on “research”? Please
Social media, nothing nothing
Writers block, head in hands

Type type type
Write write write

Beats of a drum
Demanding, do it now
Work time now
Complete me

Life

Is there life in a graveyard?
I’m not trying to be funny, or witty
But why else erect stones and monuments
If not to draw out the living?

Some columns have fresh flowers
Cards and pictures lined up too
If nothing else they brighten up this space
Until they collapse and are washed away

In a graveyard of course there are trees
And grass and birds and insects
These lives don’t understand the rules and expected behaviours
Ivy pulling on stones, cracked, lying broken

Is this life surrounded by death?
I’d suggest rather the opposite
Though we will pass and what we know will pass
Life, whatever it is, will find a way

© Kathy Hadfield 2017-2018

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Life, death and what happens in between

TW: suicide

Sorry I’ve been quiet again, things have been busy at work and my health has been topsy-turvy, to say the least. (This is only going to be a short post.)
Additionally…I suffered the loss of a close friend. I lost her to depression and suicide. I’ve cried, I’ve been angry. This is the second friend I’ve lost to it, with two tohers (that I know about) who tried and came close). But I’m trying to take things from her life, instead of focusing on her death. But it is difficult and it is something I have to make a conscious choice to do every day.

She was a roller derby player; she was relentlessly trying to improve at it too. She will inspire me to keep pushing, to know I can always get up when I fall down (and it’s roller derby, there’s a lot of falling). She was a crafty person, she enjoyed making her own jewellery and doing crochet. I have a hundred projects I’m either yet to start or yet to finish. I’ll think of her and it’ll remind me to use my creativity, make something beautiful. She found it difficult being around people sometimes, found it hard to make friends. I know what this is like. But she started roller derby to meet people, to make friends. She will be my reminder to step out of my comfort zone. She was blunt; you always knew exactly where you stood with her. Sometimes I need to remember to just say what I feel, to channel her backbone.

I could do a whole post on suicide, on mental illness. I will in the future I imagine, when it’s a little less raw. But let’s just say I have first-hand experience of an illness and can offer some insight on suicide, from a mentally ill person’s perspective.

Things have been difficult with this going on. But the people left behind after suicide have to keep pushing on, going forward. She couldn’t carry on into the future. So we keep the memory of our lost ones with us, so they can continue forward with us.

Next time I’ll be writing about working when chronically ill; it’ll be more cheerful than it sounds I promise!

Any ideas for future blog posts are welcomed, otherwise I’ll just keep making it up as I go along.

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